About Me

I think people may find me as someone who is not easy to be approached. It's either they naturally feel that way like an aura or something, or the way I carry myself made them feel that way. I feel like I have this wall around me, and this wall only let certain people in.

Am I that cold?

I noticed I am more relaxed with introverted people, as I myself am an introvert. I talked more with introverts. I let my guard down when I am with them.

I found myself stuttered when I am with extroverts. I don't know what to say. I lost my word. At times I hope I am an extrovert. But you can't simply change, yes?

I am never good with public speaking. If you throw me a freaking microphone and asked me to say something to the crowd there and then, I would rather crumpled and die. I remember the reception day at my husband's side when the clever DJ asked me to say something to the in laws, what the hell am I supposed to say? I said no and I passed. When it's my husband's turn, he spoke like he had already wrote the speech beforehand. That is how different my husband and I. And if I had times to prepare my speech or presentation, the only things I said was the only thing I planned to say, or less. I am not a natural public speaker like that.

I remembered when I was a replacement teacher, I felt so nervous before going to the classroom and meeting the kids. It was not an excited-nervous, it was a nervous-nervous because I have to speak in a classroom full of kids. And when it is times to teach Pendidikan Sivik, like only God knows I don't have a single idea how to teach Sivik, as you need a natural talking talents to teach such a subject.

May be that is why I wasn't mean to be a teacher.

This sounds like an emo post. But trust me it is not. You can't be emo when you have 2 children. You just can't. Because you will be too happy with your life. And you'll be too busy. And your heart, don't let me start going on on how a heart of a mother of two likes; because i will start to be too romantic, and mushy. Loves of a mother to her kids, are soooo indescribable. No mountain too high, no ocean too deep. See, I told you don't let me start. And nevermind if you don't ask, my heart now is like a "padang hijau yang dipenuhi bunga-bunga indah".

Bahaha. Toodles!